What if the thing you’re slaving away for—whether it’s the perfect physique, financial freedom, status, or recognition—actually isn’t the key to real fulfillment? It took me my whole life to realize this, but understanding it now can save you a tremendous amount therapy, frustration, and self-hate.
We convince ourselves that life is about to begin just around the corner. I’ll be happy when I’m super fit. I can live when I’m finally wealthy. When people start respecting me. But here’s the hard truth—none of those things will give you the lasting satisfaction you think they will. Trust me, I’ve worked with people from all spectrums and phases in life.
We grind for years, thinking the next milestone will finally make us feel whole, only to get there and feel just as restless as before. The problem isn’t the goal itself—it’s the belief that external success will fix something within.
True fulfillment isn’t about collecting achievements like trophies. It comes from something deeper—how you live, what you value, and who you become in the process. If you don’t figure that out, no amount of wins will ever feel enough.
If you don’t know what you want to do, work on who you want to be
We put so much pressure on ourselves to figure out our career that we forget to focus on our character. Not knowing what you want to do is okay—what’s not okay is using that uncertainty as an excuse to just drift. Start by asking, “What kind of person do I want to be?” Reliable? Kind? Strong? Hard Working? Make that the base of your identity. Build those qualities, and the “what to do” part will unfold naturally. Trust me when I say this, I’ve met people from all financial spectrums. Success means nothing if you spend it escaping from yourself. Become the person you no longer want to escape from is the most freeing thing you’ll ever do.
Stop making your health a side hustle
Your body isn’t just a vehicle—it’s the foundation for everything you do. Sacrificing sleep, eating garbage, skipping workouts—these things catch up to you faster than you think. Your ambitions mean nothing if you don’t have the energy to pursue them. Prioritize your health like your life depends on it—because it actually does. Not everyone was born with a Ferrari. But even a Ferrari will fall apart if you pour soda in the gas tank. Here’s the thing, don’t do diets. Do small changes that are sustainable and allows you to improve. When I was 22 I was working for Starbucks and realized how much sugar I was consuming. So each week, I did 1 pump less of sugar until I enjoyed black coffee. It was then I realized the more sugar I consumed the more I craved it, however once I reduced it slowly my body no longer craved it. It also opened my mind that there are more flavors than just sweet. We just have a hard time identifying them because our brain is overloaded with the overpowering taste of sugar and salt.
Work tirelessly on your bad habits—they get harder as you age
Bad habits are like weeds: let them grow unchecked, and they’ll choke out the good in your life. Whether it’s procrastination, negativity, or avoidance—address it now. The longer you wait, the deeper the roots grow, and the harder they are to pull out later. This isn’t also about being perfect, no one is. It’s about reducing the number of outbursts to the point it’s so rare and unusual it’s no longer associated with your character. Your bad habits aren’t permanent, they just need commitment to change. Just know that your good habits you develop now will have a major impact on your future.
Hold yourself accountable—it’s a true sign of strength
Pointing fingers is easy. Owning your mistakes? That’s where real growth happens. Accountability isn’t about blaming yourself—it’s about empowering yourself. When you take responsibility for your actions, you gain the power to change them. When you blame others, you declare your helplessness. I’ve trained a lot of people in my life through my various jobs. I’ve always shared this, “If you mess up, just say, ‘Sorry, I made a mistake. I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.” The more you try to pawn it off or blame someone else, the worse it is. What other people hear are, “I’m not going to learn from this.” That is frustrating for everyone around you whether it be work or personal life.
Extraordinary results come from repeating ordinary actions over an unordinary amount of time
There’s no secret hack. Success isn’t some grand event—it’s the result of showing up, day after day, even when you don’t feel like it. Reading 10 pages daily. Exercising regularly. Saving small amounts. The results won’t show up overnight, but give it months or years, and you’ll be unrecognizable—in the best way.
Choose your life partner wisely—it will determine the quality of your life
The person you choose to share your life with will amplify or drain you. Love is important, but shared values, mutual respect, and support matter more. Choose someone who pushes you to grow, loves you through your flaws, and walks beside you—not behind or dragging you down. Keep in mind, don’t people for granted. Life is short. Nobody is perfect. But love is speaking to someone with their best intention at heart.
Master communication to get out of your own way
Communication is everything. You could be brilliant, talented, and driven—but if you can’t express yourself clearly, you’ll hit walls. Majority of our conflicts occur because people can’t articulate what they really mean. Reflect before reacting. Ask, “How am I showing up in this?” Mastering communication will improve every relationship you have—personally and professionally. A great tip I learned is focus on someone’s left eye when talking to them to have a deeper connection. It sounds odd, but focusing on the left eye helps you stay present. People can feel when you’re really there with them. Genuine connection isn’t about saying the perfect words—it’s about being fully engaged in the moment. Give this a try and you’ll see your conversations become deeper and richer because the other person feels seen.
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Speak to yourself in the same way you would to someone you deeply care about
You’d never call a friend “worthless” or “pathetic” for making a mistake—so why do you say those things to yourself? Be encouraging not berating. You can’t build a better version of yourself through self-hate. Encourage yourself like you would a loved one. Compassion isn’t weakness—it’s sustainable fuel.
Stop overthinking every problem—work on being a solution-oriented person
Overthinking is like quicksand—the more you struggle with thoughts, the deeper you just keep sink. Instead, ask yourself, “What can I do right now to move forward?” Action breeds clarity. Solutions often reveal themselves when you do rather than just think. The worse thing for your anxiety is to not do anything.
The only competition that matters in life is with yourself—slow growth builds up over time
Comparing yourself to others is a trap. It’ll steal all the joy in your life which eventually makes you lose motivation. Focus on being 1% better than you were yesterday. Small improvements compound. Months from now, you’ll be grateful you started. Years from now, you’ll wish you started sooner.
Not everyone will like you—but don’t go out of your way for them to dislike you
Some people just won’t vibe with you—and that’s okay. Be kind. Be respectful. But don’t contort yourself trying to please everyone. Live in alignment with your values. On the flip side, don’t go out of your way to be disliked because you severe bridges and opportunities in the future. Social media likes to tell you that nothing else matters except your opinion. Well that’s not true. For example, if you don’t eat meat and someone offers you a cheeseburger don’t say, “No I’m not an animal killer.” The situation here is someone is extending a gesture to you. Just say, “No thank you.” You don’t need to use it as fuel to attack them or push your agenda because you “don’t care” what others think. It is there right to choose how they wish to live. It’s the same thing the other way around, if you eat meat. Don’t mock someone who doesn’t. It’s just pointless and breeds hate. Let people be and focus on your own road.
Pick your battles wisely
Not every battle is worth fighting. Too many people waste their energy arguing with strangers online, debating people who will never change, or getting caught up in conflicts that don’t actually matter. The truth is, your time and energy are limited—you can’t afford to spend them on every disagreement that comes your way. Picking your battles isn’t about backing down, it’s about being strategic. Save your focus for the things that actually impact your life, your goals, and your peace. Some fights aren’t worth your breath, and the strongest person in the room is often the one who knows when to walk away. In order to do this, you’ll need to build up your self worth, because once you know it. You’ll no longer need to defend it.
Get clear on your priorities and productivity becomes easy
Busyness isn’t productivity. When you know what matters most, decisions get simpler. You’ll spend less time spinning your wheels and more time moving toward what truly matters. Take time to write down your priorities. This is the key to improving your productivity as you now have something to aim for.
Take risks—you have time to recover
If you are in your teens, 20’s, or 30’s Start the business. Move to that new city. Approach that opportunity. As you get older, responsibilities pile up, and taking risks becomes harder. Don’t let fear paralyze you. Failure is the ultimate learning opportunity to get better. If you don’t fail you don’t learn. So Mess up, learn, and move forward. It’s the not trying that will keep you up at night years later. I moved to LA when I was 21 because I wanted the ultimate challenge. I was so hungry for challenge, so I grabbed a backpack and left. Guess what? It was brutal and a struggle to survive in city where you know no one, but I would never take it back. In that time, I had crazy adventures and grew the most as a person.
You get what you focus your energy on
Focus on why something won’t work, and your mind will find proof. Focus on why it will work, and you’ll gather motivation to push through. Some people live in utter misery despite having a good paying job, living in a nice home, and eating well because their mind constantly stares at what they don’t have or what isn’t working. Channeling your energy is vital towards the happiness in your life. Choose wisely.
Be adaptable and civilized when things don’t go your way
Life won’t always follow your script. What defines you isn’t how you act when things are easy—it’s how you respond when everything falls apart. You burn so many bridges when you act out unprofessionally and immaturely. One of the greatest skills is to remain calm while everyone around you is frantic. I gage people not on when things are good but how they act when things aren’t. That’s when you see a person’s tenacity, discipline, and heart.
The purpose of life isn’t built in—it’s made. Go make your purpose
Stop waiting for life to hand you meaning. Create it through your actions, your passions, and how you treat people. Purpose isn’t found—it’s forged. A couch is a place to rest, but it’s not where you’ll find purpose. It’s out in the world. Go out there and pave your path to meaning. It’s ok if that purpose changes as you go. That’s just evolution. When you find purpose, you find motivation. Don’t get caught up in the grandiose of what the media wants to sell you. That purpose can be anything that is meaningful to you.
Knowing yourself is the beginning of true wisdom
Understand your triggers, your passions, and your weaknesses. Self-awareness is your compass. The more you know yourself, the less you’ll be swayed by external chaos. If you have anger, learn what to do when you get angry. If you are insecure, learn how to talk to yourself to improve your confidence. Whatever it is learn a tool that counter balances your weaker self so you can feed the strongest version of yourself. You don’t have to live in chaos, where you’re constantly damaging yourself and others. Hurt people, hurt people. Learn to heal and understand yourself. With this, you’ll find a lot more peace in your life.
Stop filling your calendar with junk
Not every invitation deserves a yes. Not every person is worth hanging out with. Protect your time—it’s your most valuable resource. Fill your schedule with things that align with your goals and values along with people who respect that. Too many people spend time with others who only want to keep them down. A huge trick I learned is when I find people who are a positive influence in my life, I regularly check in on them. Good relationships require effort. Don’t wait around for people to reach out to you. Actively reach out to people who matter and you’ll eventually see in reciprocated.
Get important tasks done early in the day—you have the most energy
Tackle the most important tasks first. Procrastinating drains more energy than just doing the thing. Making a list and prioritizing it not only makes you productive it also makes you feel accomplished and boosts your self confidence. I recommend just pick 3 items max a day. Don’t overload a single day. It’ll feel discouraging to have a list a mile long.
Trust in the process of consistency
Do the work—even when nobody’s looking. Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither is the best version of yourself. The problem is most people quit before the foundation is even set. They get frustrated when results don’t come fast enough and walk away before their effort has a chance to pay off. But the ones who trust in the process of consistency—the ones who lay a brick every single day, no matter how small—are the ones who look back years later at something incredible. Stay the course. Keep stacking. The results will come.
Act for your future, not from your past
Your past doesn’t define you—your next decision does. Make choices that serve who you want to be, not who you used to be. We all made mistakes, it’s only failure if you refuse to learn from them. This is how you level up in life. Constantly looking back is how you freeze up and worry about your next step.
Level up your network—step out of your comfort zone and meet new people
Your environment shapes you. Surround yourself with people who challenge, inspire, and elevate you. Find people who are successful in what you want to do or who you want to be. They can help you get there faster as they made mistakes that may save you days or even months to learn. A skill I use often in navigating social networking is to make it about the other person. Make them feel comfortable. Think and talk less about myself. Ultimately be less selfish and self-centered and you’ll find it’s easier to talk to other people.
Commit to learning on a daily basis
Read. Listen. Ask questions. Lifelong learners become the most interesting, capable people in any room. Knowledge is a tool. The best thing for not just your success but mental health is to stock your toolbox daily. Very few things are truly impossible, you just don’t have enough tools yet. Every gold medalist started not knowing what they were doing. Every parent had never been a parent before. Every public speaker started off mute. Everyone starts with the fundamentals, it’s up to you to grow it or not.
Final Thoughts
If there’s one thing I want you to take away, it’s this: You get this one life to live. Your future isn’t so much a matter of chance—it’s a matter of choice. Every decision you make is a vote for the person you’re becoming. The question is what kind of person are you becoming? Will you choose hate or compassion? Comfort or growth? Fear or action? Existing or truly living? Thank you for watching. My name is Edward and I hope you continue on this journey to become the hero and light in your life.
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